Comments on: A Whole Lot More about the IEP Meeting http://melissawiley.com/blog/2007/09/21/a-whole-lot-more-about-the-iep-meeting/ Children's Book Author Thu, 08 Jan 2009 06:14:40 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.3 By: Nicole http://melissawiley.com/blog/2007/09/21/a-whole-lot-more-about-the-iep-meeting/#comment-5221 Nicole Tue, 25 Sep 2007 22:31:28 +0000 http://72.29.64.190/~mwiley/blog/2007/09/21/a-whole-lot-more-about-the-iep-meeting/#comment-5221 Thank you for sharing your personal experiences. It is both eye-opening and encouraging. I will be navigating these waters with my youngest so it is helpful to hear things to watch for. I appreciate your writing for being both charitable and truthful. Thank you for sharing your personal experiences. It is both eye-opening and encouraging. I will be navigating these waters with my youngest so it is helpful to hear things to watch for. I appreciate your writing for being both charitable and truthful.

]]> By: mary mi http://melissawiley.com/blog/2007/09/21/a-whole-lot-more-about-the-iep-meeting/#comment-5220 mary mi Tue, 25 Sep 2007 22:29:45 +0000 http://72.29.64.190/~mwiley/blog/2007/09/21/a-whole-lot-more-about-the-iep-meeting/#comment-5220 I have *two children who had to get speech therapy because of verbal apraxia. I have had them both get speech therapy very early on. The daughter we were adopting was able to get much more services in a private setting were someone was sent to our home, and all the kids participated because she was still under the state at the time. She wasn't even speaking, not making any baby noises, nothing. It was totally new territory for me and I had no idea what to do with her. I just knew she needed therapy. I didn't even know what verbal apraxia was! It turned out my own natural child also had it! Because he wasn't adopted didn't get these perks, except the with the in-home therapist who worked with him as well even tho' he wasn't on her 'list'. God bless her...she was an angel. She was a public school teacher doing the therapy on the side. You could tell she truly loved children. As for the rest of Tony-bears needs I had to go through the school system for him. God made it alright for him because the teacher he had for 2 years was one of the most wonderful people I ever met. Florida is similar to California I think, but I never felt pressured into anything. As I said,I wanted the service's for them. My daughter had the more severe verbal apraxia...and she is doing very well now!! She reads and writes right on target! She still is having trouble verbalizing however. Only once, when one teacher began making noises about putting Katrina on ADHD meds for her being a jumping bean, did I dig my heals in. I would have brought her home had they insisted. By Gods providence I had a doctor who looked at the school letter and laughed. He said they don't make any of the medication needed for ADHD in small enough doses for her...that even the thought of it was insane. She was barely 30 pounds at the time. I took his note to them and they never said another word. At this point, I am planning to withdraw them both in another year or two, and I read with interest what you wrote about services to 'private schools' because I was wondering how I would get over that hurdle. I have to see what Florida's policies are. I will definitely look more into that. God bless you Lissa. Keep up the good fight...you're awesome. love mary mi toc I have *two children who had to get speech therapy because of verbal apraxia. I have had them both get speech therapy very early on. The daughter we were adopting was able to get much more services in a private setting were someone was sent to our home, and all the kids participated because she was still under the state at the time. She wasn’t even speaking, not making any baby noises, nothing. It was totally new territory for me and I had no idea what to do with her. I just knew she needed therapy. I didn’t even know what verbal apraxia was!

It turned out my own natural child also had it! Because he wasn’t adopted didn’t get these perks, except the with the in-home therapist who worked with him as well even tho’ he wasn’t on her ‘list’.

God bless her…she was an angel. She was a public school teacher doing the therapy on the side. You could tell she truly loved children.

As for the rest of Tony-bears needs I had to go through the school system for him. God made it alright for him because the teacher he had for 2 years was one of the most wonderful people I ever met.

Florida is similar to California I think, but I never felt pressured into anything. As I said,I wanted the service’s for them. My daughter had the more severe verbal apraxia…and she is doing very well now!! She reads and writes right on target! She still is having trouble verbalizing however.

Only once, when one teacher began making noises about putting Katrina on ADHD meds for her being a jumping bean, did I dig my heals in.

I would have brought her home had they insisted.

By Gods providence I had a doctor who looked at the school letter and laughed. He said they don’t make any of the medication needed for ADHD in small enough doses for her…that even the thought of it was insane. She was barely 30 pounds at the time.

I took his note to them and they never said another word.

At this point, I am planning to withdraw them both in another year or two, and I read with interest what you wrote about services to ‘private schools’ because I was wondering how I would get over that hurdle. I have to see what Florida’s policies are.

I will definitely look more into that. God bless you Lissa. Keep up the good fight…you’re awesome.

love mary mi
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]]> By: Dani http://melissawiley.com/blog/2007/09/21/a-whole-lot-more-about-the-iep-meeting/#comment-5219 Dani Tue, 25 Sep 2007 10:13:37 +0000 http://72.29.64.190/~mwiley/blog/2007/09/21/a-whole-lot-more-about-the-iep-meeting/#comment-5219 I worked for several years as a care coordinator for people with developmental disabilities. Part of my job was attending IEP meetings with the parent as a member of the "team" and an advocate for the family. I am very impressed with how you stuck to it and came away with what you knew to be best for your child. So many parents are overwhelmed in the face of such a "panel of experts" and while they may start with the intention of sticking to their guns, they walk away from the meeting having given in to all the district's ideas. I found it all too easy to "compromise" with the district, while all the time feeling that the only thing really "compromised" was the child himself. A few of my tips for parents: 1. I don't know about CA law, but in AK, legally, the IEP is not supposed to be written before the meeting. However, in real life, the teacher already has the IEP goals written, and you are supposed to just gather to sign them...Wrong! I always insisted on starting with a blank IEP form. 2. You should not have been blindsided like you were. Again, not sure of CA law, but there should be some provision requiring written notification. For future IEP meetings, you could request written notification of the "agenda" for the meeting. Then you are more informed of what the district may have planned... 3. you don't have to sign the IEP, even if you are happy with the wording. This suggestion came to me via the disability law center of Alaska. You may want to consult with a disability law center in CA; it is an under-utilized resource that is so helpful even to parents who are well-versed in special education law. It gives you a bit of an edge to have someone well-versed in state laws sitting at your elbow during an IEP meeting. 4. IEP goals are silly anyway. I had one child whose IEP had her learning her colors 4 years in a row...There's an excellent book out, and I'm sorry I can't recall the name at this time, about writing more meaningful, more dynamic IEP goals. And if you start with a blank IEP, this is usually easier to do. The schools like goals they can measure, and it's easy to track "5 new sounds," but these goals are rather flat and meaningless to the child, aren't they? The world of IEPs can be frustrating, daunting, overwhelming, and exhausting. But if you stick to your convictions about what is right for your child, it can in the end be a very beneficial arrangement. But sometimes getting there can be a little rough! I worked for several years as a care coordinator for people with developmental disabilities. Part of my job was attending IEP meetings with the parent as a member of the “team” and an advocate for the family. I am very impressed with how you stuck to it and came away with what you knew to be best for your child. So many parents are overwhelmed in the face of such a “panel of experts” and while they may start with the intention of sticking to their guns, they walk away from the meeting having given in to all the district’s ideas. I found it all too easy to “compromise” with the district, while all the time feeling that the only thing really “compromised” was the child himself. A few of my tips for parents:
1. I don’t know about CA law, but in AK, legally, the IEP is not supposed to be written before the meeting. However, in real life, the teacher already has the IEP goals written, and you are supposed to just gather to sign them…Wrong! I always insisted on starting with a blank IEP form.
2. You should not have been blindsided like you were. Again, not sure of CA law, but there should be some provision requiring written notification. For future IEP meetings, you could request written notification of the “agenda” for the meeting. Then you are more informed of what the district may have planned…
3. you don’t have to sign the IEP, even if you are happy with the wording. This suggestion came to me via the disability law center of Alaska. You may want to consult with a disability law center in CA; it is an under-utilized resource that is so helpful even to parents who are well-versed in special education law. It gives you a bit of an edge to have someone well-versed in state laws sitting at your elbow during an IEP meeting.
4. IEP goals are silly anyway. I had one child whose IEP had her learning her colors 4 years in a row…There’s an excellent book out, and I’m sorry I can’t recall the name at this time, about writing more meaningful, more dynamic IEP goals. And if you start with a blank IEP, this is usually easier to do. The schools like goals they can measure, and it’s easy to track “5 new sounds,” but these goals are rather flat and meaningless to the child, aren’t they?
The world of IEPs can be frustrating, daunting, overwhelming, and exhausting. But if you stick to your convictions about what is right for your child, it can in the end be a very beneficial arrangement. But sometimes getting there can be a little rough!

]]> By: Abigail http://melissawiley.com/blog/2007/09/21/a-whole-lot-more-about-the-iep-meeting/#comment-5218 Abigail Mon, 24 Sep 2007 20:24:50 +0000 http://72.29.64.190/~mwiley/blog/2007/09/21/a-whole-lot-more-about-the-iep-meeting/#comment-5218 If you are coming to this site way after Sept 2007, you can find a specific url link to Disability Rights post by clicking on my name below If you are coming to this site way after Sept 2007, you can find a specific url link to Disability Rights post by clicking on my name below

]]> By: Abigail http://melissawiley.com/blog/2007/09/21/a-whole-lot-more-about-the-iep-meeting/#comment-5217 Abigail Mon, 24 Sep 2007 15:58:05 +0000 http://72.29.64.190/~mwiley/blog/2007/09/21/a-whole-lot-more-about-the-iep-meeting/#comment-5217 Number one should be "Starts everyone out on the best "FOOT" possible. But you know, I'm sure if you brought shrimp & caviar to the meeting that might also be advantageous. Number one should be “Starts everyone out on the best “FOOT” possible.

But you know, I’m sure if you brought shrimp & caviar to the meeting that might also be advantageous.

]]> By: Abigail http://melissawiley.com/blog/2007/09/21/a-whole-lot-more-about-the-iep-meeting/#comment-5216 Abigail Mon, 24 Sep 2007 15:54:06 +0000 http://72.29.64.190/~mwiley/blog/2007/09/21/a-whole-lot-more-about-the-iep-meeting/#comment-5216 Wow! This brought me back to my many, many IEP meeting experiences as an Education Law Attorney for Legal Services. God Bless you all who are in these sticky mediations. Here's my quick top five tips. (I'll try to get a more involved post up on my blog later today) 1. BRING FOOD to the meeting. Starts everyone out on the best food possible. 2. If the meeting is going to ugly (not always easy to predict in advance like 'Lissa's post shows), shake things up by sending in the other parent. For example, if Mom is the one who usually goes to the meetings. Shake things up by sending in Dad to sign the final IEP. The teachers will fall all over themselves trying the help the "new" & "lost" parent. 3.Every family should own a copy of "From Emotions to Advocacy" available at www.wrightslaw.com 4.Always, always take a 10 min "clear your head break" alone before signing the IEP. I'd use this time to go over each option with my client. If your alone, you can call your spouse at work- have him remind you what your initial goal was and double check your rational for any compromises. 5. You can LEAVE an IEP meeting without signing a new form. An unsigned IEP is better than a signed, less than 100% agreeable one, for the reasons explained in this post. Wow! This brought me back to my many, many IEP meeting experiences as an Education Law Attorney for Legal Services. God Bless you all who are in these sticky mediations. Here’s my quick top five tips. (I’ll try to get a more involved post up on my blog later today)

1. BRING FOOD to the meeting. Starts everyone out on the best food possible.

2. If the meeting is going to ugly (not always easy to predict in advance like ‘Lissa’s post shows), shake things up by sending in the other parent. For example, if Mom is the one who usually goes to the meetings. Shake things up by sending in Dad to sign the final IEP. The teachers will fall all over themselves trying the help the “new” & “lost” parent.

3.Every family should own a copy of “From Emotions to Advocacy” available at http://www.wrightslaw.com

4.Always, always take a 10 min “clear your head break” alone before signing the IEP. I’d use this time to go over each option with my client. If your alone, you can call your spouse at work- have him remind you what your initial goal was and double check your rational for any compromises.

5. You can LEAVE an IEP meeting without signing a new form. An unsigned IEP is better than a signed, less than 100% agreeable one, for the reasons explained in this post.

]]> By: Stephanie http://melissawiley.com/blog/2007/09/21/a-whole-lot-more-about-the-iep-meeting/#comment-5215 Stephanie Mon, 24 Sep 2007 14:11:32 +0000 http://72.29.64.190/~mwiley/blog/2007/09/21/a-whole-lot-more-about-the-iep-meeting/#comment-5215 OK, I'm so curious! To the woman who suggested you write a book, did you tell her that you were a published author? OK, I’m so curious! To the woman who suggested you write a book, did you tell her that you were a published author?

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