And I so agree with you and with Leonie about how they will come (with interest and curiosity and willingness) when we start in on something *we* enjoy — love the phrase “strewing yourself.” Perfect!

Ironic, eh? A culture so busy distracting themselves with stuff to do, do, do ends up needing something quiet to do or we lose track of each other.

My 4.5yo asked me to draw with her yesterday and I said yes (another thing I’m working on, saying yes when I can even if my first instinct is no) even though my 13 mo old was getting into everything. I kept emptying a kitchen cabinet to entertain the baby and sat at the kitchen table and made wonderful swirly pictures with my big girl. It was a lovely time even if it was louder and more chaotic than I might have wanted it to be.

Of course they go off and do plenty of things by themselves, too, but I guess that’s part of the point–the older and more independent they become, the more likely I am to over-rely on that independence and then we miss out on the very best moments of our days.

Sandra has a good piece called Leaning on a Truck about “parallel play,” how doing things side-by-side like jigsaw puzzles or cooking or drawing tends to open up the doors of conversation. A quote:

“Doing something non-verbal while talking has a special advantage: Silence is not awkward. Changing the subject temporarily to talk about the blocks or paints or puzzle is not really changing the subject. Fear and foreboding won’t cause people to leave the conversation or cry. It’s possible to pause, think, breathe, stall, collect oneself and come back to the topic in a minute. I have a near-teen here who sometimes needs to be with me a while before he gets to what he needs to say. That puzzle didn’t really need to be worked, but perhaps that child needed to sit with that parent.”