Me: Can you believe how scratched up my glasses are? It’s like looking through a screen door.
Him: Well, you’ve had them forever. You should get new ones.
Me: Nah. I don’t wear them enough to justify the expense.
Him: But you wear them every night after you take your contacts out!
Me: Yeah, but not for very long. You know. There are things I’ll spend money on, and things I won’t.
Him: Ah yes. Glasses don’t plug in.
How to Panic Your Children
Not to make you feel old or anything, but
Calling Jane’s Mother