Scott: You know Terrence Malick? Directed Martin Sheen and Sissy Spacek in Badlands in 1973—What’s the matter?
Me: Nothing. Sorry. I was trying to resist the temptation to belt out “Coal Miner’s Daughter.”
Scott: It’s okay. You can go ahead.
Me: I didn’t want to derail you.
Scott: Um. Then next time, don’t grimace.
Me: Can you believe how scratched up my glasses are? It’s like looking through a screen door.
Him: Well, you’ve had them forever. You should get new ones.
Me: Nah. I don’t wear them enough to justify the expense.
Him: But you wear them every night after you take your contacts out!
Me: Yeah, but not for very long. You know. There are things I’ll spend money on, and things I won’t.
Him: Ah yes. Glasses don’t plug in.
Thanks to Girl Detective’s handy chart, I know at last that I am a geek, not a nerd. At least, I don’t think I am socially inept. Not often, at any rate. OK, maybe sometimes. Like the famous family story of the first time I met Scott’s older sister. When Scott and I started dating, Susan was living in Somalia, so I was hearing about her for a good year before our paths crossed. Susan is seriously brilliant, beautiful, poised, and accomplished, and I was just this awkward college student with little-girl looks and bitten nails. I knew how much Scott respected his sister and felt somewhat intimidated about making a good impression.
Shortly after Susan returned from Africa, a friend’s wedding drew the family together. I knew I would be meeting Susan for the first time. When we arrived at the church, Scott dropped me at the front entrance and went to park the car. I entered the foyer and recognized a knot of women chatting quietly in one corner: Scott’s mother, two of his sisters-in-law, and—I knew her from photos—Susan. As I crossed the foyer I silently rehearsed what to say: Hi, Susan, I’m Lissa. Hi Susan, I’m Lissa. But just as I reached the group, Susan put out her hand and said warmly, “Hi, Lissa!”
Completely thrown off my mental script, I blurted, “Hi! I’m Susan!”
Perhaps we should go with 70% geek, 30% dork. Intelligence and social (in)eptitude may be fluctuating variables, but I think it’s pretty safe to say obsession is the constant.