Archive for the ‘These People Crack Me Up’ Category
Huck, who is in the room for a lot of grammar discussions between the older kids and me: “That dog is jamping all over the place!”
Me: “What’s jamping?”
Huck: “The plural of jumping.”
Me, happening upon a small boy industriously wielding a feather duster on the bookcases: “Wow! Thank you!”
Huck, a certain gleam in his eye: “I need lots of dust so I can shake it in Rilla’s face.”
Huck, oh so casually: “Mom, I like it better when you leave the bag of marshmallows on the counter after you make lunch. Not for any reason. I just like it. FOR NO REASON.”
“But the bag said ‘Complete set’!” —child with Sharpie about to write letters on blank Scrabble tiles.
In my house this morning: a breadcrumb trail of Angry Birds playing cards leading from my bedroom, down the hall, through the kitchen, through the patio room, to the wide-open sliding door.
Me: “It’s freezing in here!”
Huck: “That’s what the trail is for. To show you what a cold day it is.”
Scott: “What’s with all the hand gestures?”
Huck: “I’m silent-beatboxing.”
Huck: “Mommy, be prepared for me to shout, ‘It’s Christmas, it’s Christmas, woohoo!’ tomorrow morning. It will probably startle you.”
Rilla, standing in front of the coat closet: “I’m looking for Jane’s old coat with flowers on it.”
My mother, pulling out the flowered coat directly in front of Rilla’s face: “You mean this one?”
Rilla: “No, Mom said it was an aqua background. That’s seafoam.”
Huck (returning home from a playdate): Can I add something to my wish list? Two shields, a sword and a cotton ball.
Me: …A cotton ball?
Huck: You know, the little white round puffy kind?
Me: Okay, so a regular cotton ball. I’m just curious, what’s it for?
Huck: Well, it could be two shields and TWO swords. But Parker only has one sword, so he let me use it, and he had a cotton ball that he threw at me and I deflected it with my shield EVERY TIME.