First child: "Refined sugar shall not touch her lips! Until age two at the earliest! Possibly age three! Nothing but natural sweeteners for my daughter: bring on the homemade fruit leather and rubbery whole wheat muffins sweetened with apple juice!"
Fifth child: "Does my widdle snookie-wookie want a taste of yummy yummy marshmallow fluff? Mmm, she likes it! Here, have a chocolate-chip muffin!"
Yet another of life’s eternal mysteries
And suddenly it’s August