Bosom Buddies

January 9, 2009 @ 1:47 pm | Filed under: Baby, Family, Friends, Funny, Pregnancy

During the long months of this pregnancy, I have been blessed with the companionship of a few special friends. We used to see each other only once a month, but lately we’ve been able to get together once or even twice a week, and how eagerly I have looked forward to these sweet moments of fellowship with women whose joy in motherhood outstrips even my own!

I realized today that our time together is drawing to a close…very soon (very, very soon, do you hear me?) it will be time to go our separate ways, and we shall see each other only once a year or thereabouts. Ah, dear friends, whatever will I do without you? Fortunately I happened to have my camera in my bag at our visit today, so I was able to capture a few treasured snapshots of these fair and tender ladies I have come to know so well.

Here they are all together with their precious infants, the whole beautiful bunch of them. Aren’t they lovely?

So serene, so gentle, so rouged.

I have learned so much from these ladies. For example, here I am about to give birth to my sixth child, and yet until I met Angelica would you believe I had no idea it was advisable to blow-dry one’s hair to a silky sheen, tie back a few glossy locks with a ribbon, don a ruffly off-the-shoulder gown, and apply several coats of blusher before sitting down to breastfeed one’s baby?

This is going to make a real difference in my next post-partum experience, let me tell you. Angelica always looks so calm and well rested. I realize now that my customary get-up of hastily scrunchied ponytail, spit-up-stained T-shirt, and no makeup whatsoever has been at the root of the exhaustion I typically experience during those first weeks with a new baby. LOOK beautiful and you’ll FEEL beautiful is Angelica’s motto.

Elspeth has a similar philosophy about pregnancy. I understand now that in banning white clothing from my wardrobe several sticky-fingered toddlers ago, I have been depriving myself of a kind of delicate radiance that would surely have blessed the child in my womb and all in our presence. And that band of pink ribbon below her bosom—how beautifully it offsets her the rosy glow of her lips. Every word that comes out of a mouth like that is pure honey, I suspect. (I can’t say for sure, because demure Elspeth never utters a word. But you can see just by looking at her that she is full of warm and soothing thoughts.)

As for our ringleted chum Swoozie, I admit I worry a little about her sometimes. Those raw bruises on her cheek…the dark rings around her eyes…her habit of staring off into the distance, lost in thought, absently feeding her infant without even looking at him…I have some concerns about her home life. But she has never uttered a word of complaint, so perhaps I’m mistaken. Possibly she is only thinking about when to get her next perm.

Oh, dear friends, how grateful I am for the many times you have entertained me while I waited for our obstetrician to amble into the exam room! It is very good of you, all of you, to have kept such a patient vigil with me as the long, long minutes ticked by.

You will be sorely missed.


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Comments

57 Responses | | Comments Feed

  1. Okay, Lissa, I’m a regular reader but not usually a commenter–but this post has me cracking up here! My last ob-gyn’s office was filled with images like these! Oh, gosh–trying to catch my breath…

    I’m 38 weeks along now and seeing a new ob this time around, and you won’t believe how his office is decorated–cowboys and indians! I kid you not. The waiting room, his office, and all the exam rooms have paintings of western riders, animal tracks, horses, frontier battles…all by the same artist. I’m going to have to to take a picture like your last one to remember it by.

    And you look great, by the way! Praying here for you and baby.

  2. You are so brave…

    ROFLOL- I love the twinkle in your eye behind the camera, and if I may respectfully say so…

    wow.

  3. ROFL!!

  4. Hee — this was priceless.

    Also: Could you *be* any cuter? Not even “aw, you’re cute to be a million weeks pregnant,” but really, just stinkin’ cute. Not even fair.

  5. Is it okay for another woman to say this? – you are gorgeous! At 41 weeks. I agree with Layla. So not fair.

    And that hair. Humph. There ought to be a law against other women having such beautiful hair. At 41 weeks too.

    When you said “Angelica”, I was reminded by the name and, funnily enough, the uncannily similar picture, of the photo of Angelina Jolie nursing her twins, looking like a supermodel. My first thought when I saw that picture of her was, *nannies*.

  6. You had me there, at first–you totally had me. I saw the title and thought, “Are one of these women Alice???”

    I was so confused.

    Of course, it wasn’t long before my baffled frown gave way to a great big grin of amusement…

    …just like it won’t be long before that belly’s gone and being loved up in your arms.

    Feeling the sudden urge to go don some rouge now. I’d best away.

  7. I love it!!!

  8. lol lol lol!

    That hair is NOT fair… and you look great! I just hope I look that great when I’m pregnant with my six.

    Wait, I didn’t just say that?!

  9. I love reading your blog – and had to comment today since you had me so curious and then laughing out loud.
    What a fun post! What intriguing artwork for an OB’s office.

  10. Oh, my! I love the names you gave them!

  11. I

    Love

    You!

    LOL!

  12. Had these pictures been up at my OB’s office, I would have chuckled at them at every visit. As I sit here nursing my newborn, I look nothing like your “friends”. I don’t think I could get that much blush on if I tried and that serene look? At my OB visits I got to look at photographs of big-horned sheep, eagles and other assorted wild animals that live in CO! This was such a funny post! I can’t wait to here your good news!

  13. I laughed . . . then I began to fear for you and your upcoming birth, attended by the person who permitted these prints to be hung in his exam room. Well, hmmm. Maybe they were a gift. From a dying grandmother. Who stipulated in the will that the money for med school would be cut off if they weren’t prominently displayed. Yes, that must be it . . .

    Seriously, rarely do I laugh out loud as I laughed at this. Too funny!

  14. So help me, I am laughing so hard I have scared my children.

    Mamacrow ~ you did just say that, yes you did, I heard you.

    Lissa ~ you look utterly lovely. And? My name is Elspeth. And I am indeed filled with warm and soothing thoughts. *laughs*

  15. Hysterical. Am I reading into this or is this code for I’m on my way to the hospital???? Don’t keep me hanging! Good luck. Sarah

  16. Hysterical, and much like the good woman from Minnesota, at first I was a bit smitten by your descriptions of these “friends” ROTFLOL!!!

    Can’t wait for the little cherub :)))

  17. okay, just checked in on twitter. No go. Hope I didn’t start any rumors! I still haven’t figured out how to post there.

  18. Oh you look so much better than the ladies in the frames on the wall.

    Your post cracked me up.

    You really have a great glow going there.

    Wishes for a wonderful birth!!

  19. Hey, I know those ladies! Who sells this stuff to our OB’s anyway? You look beautiful, Melissa. I’m getting excited for you. Can’t wait to see baby pics!

  20. LOL!! Great post, Lissa. You look gorgeous!

  21. i have to admit, i was lost at first too, because the ladies looked so perfect to be REAL, but then i thought, oh-well, and by the time i got to swoozie-the lightbulb clicked and boy did i laugh….btw. you look great. i am always so puffy at the end, but it’s been a while and i’d surely welcome the puffiness. again, blessings as you await another (curly haired?) angel.

  22. Lissa, you are my hero.

    Funniest post EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  23. I came here from Alice’s blog. You are beautiful!

  24. Prayers for a safe delivery.

  25. Oh, oh, oh, that was just the cherry on the whipped cream of my day. Thank you for the wonderful laugh…………..

  26. I am cracking up! I’m so sorry you won’t be seeing your friends as often. It was so good of them to be there for you… ROFLOL

  27. My poor little Sophie was nursing when I read this and quite distressed at my gales of laughter. She gave me the most reproachful look. I think it was because I disturbed her meal. But maybe she was critiquing my scrunchied hair, lack of rouge and dingy sweater? I’m certain Angelica never reads blogs while nursing.

  28. Thanks for the laugh!!! too funny ;)

  29. You are such a nut. And good grief. Are you secretly a vampire and you just NEVER AGE!? You still look 12 even when you’re 400 months pregnant. You’re so adorable. {{{ hugs and kisses }}} Name the baby after me. Unless it’s a boy and then that would be cruel.

    :*

  30. Lissa, you crack me up. You look great by the way. And only 6 more to go until you catch up with me! J/K. You are the greatest. -Shaun

  31. *snort*
    You are funny as well as gorgeous!And round. Very round.

  32. [...] This has to be the cutest 41 week pregnant woman ever!  And I am so hoping she doesn’t look like that much longer –bless her! [...]

  33. ROFLOL!

    too too funny.

    41 weeks? what? are you on the fast track to sainthood?

  34. Melissa, fresh faced and freckled, waits with a twinkle in her eye. Her slender arms belie the 41-week bundle of joy nestled beneath her bodice. With this much energy, she’ll dash off another chapter shortly after delivery.

  35. So that is all it takes…a white gown and rouge. I have missed the boat.

    You look mahvelous darling.
    Love you.

  36. Lissa … this was a great post and I LOVE the pic of you … you look so beautiful and healthy!

    Blessings and hugs and can’t wait to see the latest addition to the Glen!

  37. You are too funny. I’ll have to stop by more often. Good luck with baby #6!

  38. Oh my gosh! Swoozie! That is hilariously perfect! My hair looked like that during high school due to regular spiral perms. :)

    Lissa, you are a sight with your pretty curls and skin and that gorgeous baby belly! Many prayers for a happy, healthy delivery!

  39. I agree, you are a stunningly beautiful pregnant lady. Now, if you were just wearing white….with a pink band….

  40. You had me going, too – I was getting jealous that other homeschooling mamas have time to get together with their beloved friends once or twice a week! I can totally sympathize with you – I still have 2 weeks to go, but due to diabaetes I’ve been visiting with my OB, getting non-stress tests, having ultrasounds, and meeting with the maternal-fetal specialist several times per week (total, not each!!) and see them WAY more than I get to see any friends! And unfortunately, my OB just moved into a new office and has NO artwork hung yet – before they had lovely photographs of young children everywhere.
    God bless you as you nest and wait, and especially as you deliver your littlest darling!

  41. That’s too funny. I’m sure that if that print was in my possession, I would be tempted, in a fit of postpartum dementia, to destroy the thing. Even otherwise gaunt celebrity moms don’t sport cheekbones like those after having a baby!

    What sort of sadistic person is your OB anyway?!

  42. You are fabulously funny and those pictures are so unbelievably wretched that I must agree with Amy C. in a bit of worry over that man attending to your birth. If he approaches you with anything resembling a powder puff, a brush, or a hairbow, RUN. No matter what stage of labor you’re in.

  43. RUN. No matter what stage of labor you’re in.

    I’d very much like to see that. Or at least the attempt.

  44. ROFL!! Classic. I had to read that aloud to dh, who then came over to the computer, saw your picture, and said, “Wow! That baby’s coming any minute.” :o) From his lips to God’s ears…

  45. Of course, this post had me laughing, but the point of tears didn’t come until Scott’s comment.

    Saving this one to share with dh!!!

  46. Oh Melissa! I came here to tell you how gorgeous and funny you are and see that many others have had the same impluse. You do pregnancy very well, I must say.

    I was checking my thesaurus to find another word than “gorgeous” to use, tho’ I had to use it in the end, but “winsome” comes awfully close, as well.

    Wishing you and your family peaceful and joy-filled days ahead…I will be checking often for news.

  47. OMG, you’re STILL pregnant??!!! Are you going for some sort of record? ;^)

  48. Maybe you’ll make it to my party after all.

    then give birth on my birthday :)

    Just Kidding!

    {{Hugs}}

  49. Hey, My friend!

    I was peeking in to see if anything “new” was happening around here. :)

    You are so sweet…….and so awfully clever!

    Thanks for sharing your humor & cleverness with us!

    PS: We keep you in our daily Memorare for expectant moms……and prayed our Rosary for you……BEFORE I peeked here!

    Maybe tonight is the night????

    Love, chari

  50. Hey– Came here via Danielle Bean–

    I just wanted to say that your motherly trio is better than what my OB has up at the office!!!

    We get ads for ‘Essure’… pipe cleaners as contraception…..

    So my husband and I have made up a whole drama about the couple lovingly gazing at each other over cappuchino and chocolate croissants in an all white house, filled with expensive breakable artwork, while their two children, one boy and one girl, sit foodless in the back ground. (For example– why aren’t they sharing the croissants with their kids? One of my friends opined that OBVIOUSLY the children have Celiac disease and can’t eat croissants, and thats why the couple took permenant measures, because clearly such a life isn’t worth living…….)

    Anyway, your three buddies are definitely preferable. And you’re NOT insane for making up stories about the wall art! =)

  51. [...]                   « Bosom Buddies [...]

  52. You still got it, my friend!!!

  53. You crack me up. Seriously you look lovely. How do you do that?

  54. I agree with Layla…you are so CUTE!

    oh…and congrats…

    I can’t wait to see the pictures of the baby.
    love M~

  55. I absolutely loved this post!!

  56. [...] My doctor recently changed exam rooms due to a retiring doctor in the practice. This gem of a painting was left there and it cracked me up because Melissa Wiley also got to see these ladies at her doctor’s office (in California) and as a result developed quite the relationship with her bosom buddies. [...]

  57. Too funny! Love the title!!