Dear iPad, Please Don’t Move to Kent

Dear iPad,

I know you’re really busy right now, so I went ahead and took the Which Jane Austen Character Are You quiz for both of us. Hope you don’t mind.

It came out that you are Charlotte Lucas and I am Elizabeth Bennet. Which wasn’t at all what I was expecting, but if you think about it, it makes a ton of sense.

Lizzie: skirts six inches deep in mud
Me: clothes constantly smeared with peanut butter and masticated goldfish crackers

Lizzie: marries sarcastic, sensitive man who dislikes mingling
Me: DITTO

Lizzie: enjoys reading letters
Me: enjoys reading blogs

(See what I mean? It’s chilling, really.)

And then there’s you and Charlotte Lucas.

Charlotte: possesses wide array of talents ranging from the practical to the entertaining
iPad: ditto, though can only apply them one at a time

Charlotte: believes “it is better to know as little as possible of the defects of the person with whom you are to pass your life.”
iPad: might appreciate this point of view

Charlotte: makes decisions based on reason, not emotions
iPad: is a computer

Charlotte: not flashy
iPad: no Flash Player

And Lizzie and Charlotte are dear friends who, while vastly different in temperament, derive much satisfaction from their relationship—at least until Charlotte marries a man neither one of them can particularly stand to be around.

So I guess what I’m saying, dear iPad, is: I think we’ll get along just fine as long as you don’t go marrying Lady Catherine de Bourgh’s remote control.

But, you know, I was sort of hoping you’d be the Mr. Darcy of gadgets.