Dear iPad, Please Don’t Move to Kent

February 2, 2010 @ 3:26 pm | Filed under:

Dear iPad,

I know you’re really busy right now, so I went ahead and took the Which Jane Austen Character Are You quiz for both of us. Hope you don’t mind.

It came out that you are Charlotte Lucas and I am Elizabeth Bennet. Which wasn’t at all what I was expecting, but if you think about it, it makes a ton of sense.

Lizzie: skirts six inches deep in mud
Me: clothes constantly smeared with peanut butter and masticated goldfish crackers

Lizzie: marries sarcastic, sensitive man who dislikes mingling

Lizzie: enjoys reading letters
Me: enjoys reading blogs

(See what I mean? It’s chilling, really.)

And then there’s you and Charlotte Lucas.

Charlotte: possesses wide array of talents ranging from the practical to the entertaining
iPad: ditto, though can only apply them one at a time

Charlotte: believes “it is better to know as little as possible of the defects of the person with whom you are to pass your life.”
iPad: might appreciate this point of view

Charlotte: makes decisions based on reason, not emotions
iPad: is a computer

Charlotte: not flashy
iPad: no Flash Player

And Lizzie and Charlotte are dear friends who, while vastly different in temperament, derive much satisfaction from their relationship—at least until Charlotte marries a man neither one of them can particularly stand to be around.

So I guess what I’m saying, dear iPad, is: I think we’ll get along just fine as long as you don’t go marrying Lady Catherine de Bourgh’s remote control.

But, you know, I was sort of hoping you’d be the Mr. Darcy of gadgets.

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10 Reponses | Comments Feed
  1. Melissa Wiley says:

    (Actually, if I had any sense, I would want you to be the Jane Bennet of gadgets. Or the Elinor Dashwood. Smart, sensible, accomplished, amiable, multi-faceted. Darcy’s obstinacy is not exactly attractive in a computer.)

  2. Celeste says:

    Literally laughing out loud here–love it!

  3. christie says:

    My laughter drew the family. After I read it aloud, my 8 year old thought it sounded a bit like SQ Pedalian. She, by the way, is just starting to get her Austen education; we’re watching Emma together

  4. Hannah says:

    You are so, so funny.

    And, you are the stuff of which Steve Jobs’ dreams are made. Clearly, you and that iPad are M.F.E.O.

  5. Jessica says:

    Can I just say you are one of my most favorite bloggers ever? HILARIOUS!

  6. MelanieB says:

    This is too funny!

    Lissa, with all of these love letters I’m beginning to wonder if you don’t have too much time on your hands. I hope Scott doesn’t get jealous!

  7. Jeannie says:

    Riotous laughter over here! My husband and I keep reading your iPad posts and cracking up.

    I don’t normally post but your iPad posts are bringing the lurker out of “Lurkdom”.

  8. Penny in VT says:

    You’re really beginning to scare me.


  9. Lindsay says:


  10. Kirsten says:

    Also coming out of “lurkdom” because your iPad posts are just cracking me up!!
    Thanks for all of the ipod tips also. A whole new world opened up to me. Reading while nursing the baby at night has been so much easier.