(Scott hasn’t seen these yet, but when he does, forget melting. His heart is going to shatter into a thousand pieces. Completely smitten, he is.)
Archive for January 8th, 2008
Life flushes his nose, cheeks, with flaming warmth when he slips back
inside, to rub his hands by the fire. Words, fragments of stories,
tumble out of him, and I nod, trying to etch him in my mind like this
(do all mothers do this? Memorize moments?) For some reason, I don’t
trust ink and paper, computerized sensors of cameras. I carve it down
in synapses and neurons— in heart fibers—before he, who he is now,
is gone, mellow voice turned deep, untried hands grown long and deeply
lined, trenched with days.
I do it too, constantly. Sunday, while stealing a rare nap with the baby (toddler, but shh), rain beating down, book abandoned on the pillow: I could not stop looking at her, breathing her in. Flushed cheeks, purple shadows beneath the blurred black lashes, her face now Jane’s, now Rose’s, now a flash of Scott. Now that picture of me when I was her age, something about the o of her mouth. The curl peeking out behind one ear, the weight of her head on my arm, the gentle sigh of her breath. How many more times will I get to live that moment? Just like Ann, I try to fix these moments in my mind, try to memorize each detail. But I never can call them back fully, not unless I’ve written them down. That’s why I blog, I guess.
Her meditation on the fleetingness of these delicious days is some of the most beautiful writing I’ve seen on the internet, ever.
I’ve mentioned the Captioned Media Program before, but it’s a topic that bears revisiting. Now called the Described and Captioned Media Program, this organization is funded by the U.S. Department of Education. Its mission is "to promote and provide equal access to communication
and learning for students who are blind, visually impaired, deaf, hard of hearing, or deaf-blind." The DCMP maintains a clearinghouse for information about all aspects of life with these disabilities and a huge lending library of videos and DVDs on all topics—captioned for the deaf and hard of hearing, or on audio for the blind. Many of the materials are also available online as streaming video.
If any member of your family is blind, deaf, or hard of hearing, your family qualifies for membership in the program and may check out library materials at no charge. Even the postage is covered by the program. I believe classroom teachers with qualifying students may also apply for membership.
We have checked out several good ASL instructional DVDs from DCMP in the past, and now I see that many of these (and others) can be viewed online as well. I’m thrilled; this is just what we need to carry us the next step down the road in our ASL studies.